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told my wife and close friends and sought help. As a medical faculty member, I had excellent insurance, providing coverage for talk therapy and a prescription antidepressant. I had the contacts to find the right psychiatrist for me. I had the money to pay for what the insurance did not cover. Because my angry outbursts affected my workplace, the Department of Medicine paid for an anger management course and an excellent book, “When Anger Hurts.” I was otherwise healthy so did not have to deal with other conditions that can complicate the treatment of depression. And I had a wife,
two daughters, and close friends who quickly encircled me with a protective and patient healing love.
By the end of the anger management course and final chapter of the accompanying book, I realized that leaving my job as an academic physician was a key part of my recovery. Although it is easy to write about this decision now, three years ago I could not conceive of it. For me, my work and all it encompassed,
research, patient care, and teaching, defined me as a human being. A rather narrow view of self, but it was my reality. Without the crisis of hitting rock bottom,
I do not think I would have had the courage to leave.