next dr martens Top Tips when your Child Won’t Listen
Children selective hearing is a big source of frustration for parents. A child who is defiant, stubbornly refuses to cooperate and ignores simple requests can make every day feel like an uphill struggle. Clinical Psychologist Dr Victoria Samuel has advice for parents who want to improve communication with their child
Before you can expect your child to listen, you need to ensure you really listen to your child.
As a parent, the pressure of the constant 101 things that need to get done can sometimes make it hard to listen. But when a child is not feeling listened to, they are more likely to whinge, shout or throw a tantrum to get your attention.
Careful listening shows that you respect your child feelings and gives them space to explore a problem and, often,
find their own solution. Being listened to can cause difficult feelings to evaporate cue less moaning, fewer tantrums, fewer tears. Most importantly, if you listen to your child, they are more likely to listen to you.
How to Listen
Give your full attention. Stop what you are doing, turn to your child, make eye contact and listen to what they are saying.
Acknowledge what your child is saying with a non committal,
simple see, behind what your child is saying (or even behind how they are acting, if not yet talking) is a feeling. Identify the feeling and give it a name.
sounds frustrating disappointed that we have to leave now crucial to accept feelings and resist the temptation to make things better by denying them ( there no reason to be so upset difficult situations by giving your child his wishes in fantasy. Wave a wand with words!
really like it if you could stay up later only I could make that orange juice into your favourite apple juice to Communicate
To get your child to listen, think carefully about exactly how you communicate. Subtle differences in words, tone and body language may affect whether your child tunes in or out.
Tone of voice
How you say something is as important, if not more important,
as what you say
Use an up beat, encouraging, positive tone as much as possible.
When indicating limits, sound definite and confident. Any hint of uncertainty and you more likely to be ignored, debated (But can’t I just.
Avoid nagging. Ask once nicely, once firmly and then take action. Don shout through from the next room.
Always get down to your child height and make eye contact. O Bedtime accusing ( never listen! criticising ( so lazy or threatening ( you don hurry up,
then I leave without you phrasing which implies that cooperation is an option!
we.? you. make requests clear, short and specific: now to Encourage Co operation
For some children can be the default position when asked to do things. Below are some tips to encourage your child cooperation.